I'M BACK! And I had bacon on Saturday morning. Oh mother, thou knowest me so well.
I wish I had an awesome story to tell you. But my weekend went like this:
1. Megan does not go see the high school play that she really wanted to see. She looks like this, only hotter: :(
2. Megan eats her weight in truffles.
3. Megan has bacon.
4. Megan spends three hours eating a corndog in a seedy rural gas station while being ogled by a strange man who walked out of the front door backward in order to continue said ogling all the way out to his car. Megan also saw a drug deal being performed in front of the gas station, and later talked to the drug dealer. Megan debated whether or not she should have called the cops instead of pointing him to the nearest ATM.
5. Just now, Megan realizes that there is a weekend story. Oh.
6. Megan saw "Megamind." Megan had serious issues with "Megamind." She hated it. She wrote a review. If SparkLife doesn't publish it, it will be posted here. But probably it will be on SparkLife this week at some point.
7. Megan breathes air.
8. Megan's brother buys two packs of Star Wars playing cards. Megan gets very jealous. Megan begs for one and is thwarted. She plots to steal said cards, but her brother knows her ways and prevents this by saying, "No." Megan gets pissed that all she has are stupid peanut M&M cards. Megan doesn't even like peanut M&Ms.
I'm tired of writing my name now. It's hard. Megan will refer to herself as "Juicy Fruit Chewing Gum" for the remainder of this post.
9. Juicy Fruit Chewing Gum eats a lot of McDonald's because she loves it. She realizes that 20,874 people will now comment/email her to inform her that McD's is disgusting and icky and will kill her. Here is your answer, before you email: Yes. I know. I like to bathe in mercury and inhale straight carbon monoxide, though, so I figure McDonald's isn't really a big deal, by comparison.
10. That's about it.
11. Oh wait, Juicy Fruit Chewing Gum also spends two days obsessing over Good Dog and Bad Dog because they were shaved recently and it is cold here it Utah. She spends ludicrous amounts of time wrapping dogs in blankets.
So maybe I'll write about the seedy gas station. That sounds mildly interesting. Right?
Also, New Moon post? I think maybe so. We'll see how it goes.
Comment that made me lulz: "I don't know Megan...that ":(" looks pretty FIINE to me! Like, on a scale of sexiness, 1 being Susan Boyle and 10 being not Susan Boyle, it would OH MY GOD DO I SMELL BACON?! Please excuse me while I partake in my bacon sniffing festivities" -Erik