Thursday, May 19, 2011

This is too long to tweet so I'm posting it here.

Pretend that you have a dog.  Let's say your sweet, kind grandma gave it to you because she is the most wonderful grandma ever.  Your dog is the best dog in the world: it loves you, comforts you when you're sad, entertains you, and is your best friend.  Luckily for you, this dog will also live forever and will never abandon you and will only get better with age as you create fond memories together.

Now pretend that one day you come home from work to find that your grandma has taken your dog away. Also, it turns out the dog was a robot that never loved you and spent its entire time with you collecting data about you so that your grandma could market stupid toys that you and your friends would buy and its made her incredibly rich and not only is your dog gone, but grandma also left a really loud, really smelly, really stupid flock of squawking parrots in your living room along with a note informing you that she is, in fact, the best grandma ever, a genius among matriarchs, THE UNDISPUTED GRANDMOTHER OF THE CENTURY.  And you try so desperately to ignore the dumb birds while you look at pictures of adventures with your old dog but you can't and what does it matter anyway because all your memories are ruined and your family and friends try to tell you that it's okay but it isn't because ALL THIS TIME THE FORCE WAS MADE OF STUPID, TINY, IDIOTIC LIVING ORGANISMS THAT INHABITED YOUR BODY LIKE A BUNCH OF PSYCHIC, PARASITIC TAPEWORMS OR SOMETHING.

And that's why I hate Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace so much.

9 comments:

  1. Well...
    I think thats significantly longer than 140 characters...

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  2. I don't even...
    What just happened?

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  3. Haha, hilarious.
    Megan you're totes awesome and I love your blog but I have no idea how to get updated when you post something new. It's driving me crazy! I must know, Megan! OR PEOPLE WILL DIE!
    Not really, but you get the point.

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  4. Ahaha, this was so confusing and I have NO IDEA what just happened, but also so very funny :P
    Anyway, how do you do that cool awesome thing where you can find out what people googled to find your blog? Because I totes have a blog and I'm deeply curious about what the heck is going through people's minds when they read it.
    Oh YEAH, and also, you're awesome and epic, so I wouldn't be surprised if it was something like only you could do, y'know? With special patented Megan Magic. IF IT IS JUST SAY SO.
    I'm gonna go now.

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  5. Ruby- Just click on follow, right over where my other followers are! If you don't have an account with blogger they might make you get one (I dunno) but it's quick and easy and every time you log in you get to see all the updates of blogs you follow. OR you can follow using your gmail account...I think. I DON'T KNOW. This was a useless answer to your question.

    Pebble Stone- Which website do you use to blog? I use blogger, so there's a STATS tab that has all the...stats! If you use wordpress, I'm not really sure since I don't have one, BUT I know that you can check stats somehow. If you use something else, tell me how you like it. CAUSE I DUNNO.

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  6. Pebble Stone -

    There's this fanciful creepiful website www.statcounter.com where you can install a code on your blog (as long as you're not on Wordpress, which sucks) that tells you like EVERYTHING about your visitors.

    Well, maybe not everything, but enough to be slightly creepy. And very addicting. And make you want to hide behind incognito browsers and proxy IP addresses for the rest of your internet-spelunking existence.

    But it's fun! I promise. =D

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  7. This is more or less how I felt after watching it. Might've dropped a WTF or five.

    And yes, if you're on wordpress, you need to install a plugin. I'm not on wordpress, but I use the software for my site; I downloaded 'SlimStat', and that works pretty well.

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  8. I AGREE. TIMES ONE THOUSAND.

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