Friday, December 10, 2010

I am going to be killed by a pile of snow. Probably very soon.

Congratulations, my friends.  Since you read my blog, you are about to be treated to 4 months of me whining about the snow and how horrible it is and how much I hate it and how it is an attempt by the Universe to kill me.  Which it is.  I KNOW IT.

Here in Utah, Winter can last for half of the year.  HALF OF THE YEAR.  If the year has two parts, Winter is one of those parts.  I know, I know.  "MEGAN TRY LIVING IN MONTANA, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT COLD IS!!!"  Yes I do.  I don't live in Montana because if I did I would be dead.  And that's where my logic ends.

Anyway, it was snowing for a while up at campus.  Then, miraculously, it stopped!  I have been known to weep bitterly when I see the first snowfall of the year (hint:every single year) so when it stopped it felt like Christmas had come early and I was already enjoying the unicorn that I KNOW is waiting for me under the tree.  (I shook the present that looked like a book.  It sounded like a unicorn, or a book.  I'm betting it's a unicorn, though.  A unicorn with a monocle that will breathe glitter into my oatmeal.  I don't like oatmeal, but if I did, my unicorn would breathe glitter into it, cause he's a nice guy like that.)

Over the next few days, all of the snow melted because the sun was being awesome.  However, a few days before, some boys had made a snowman.  A big, huge snowman.  I took pleasure in watching this snowman die tragically.  Is that cruel?  I don't know.  I just know that, "DIE, Frosty, DIE!!" has become my new mantra.

Soon, all the snow had disappeared except for a big pile of half-melted snow where the snowman used to be:



It won't go away.  And it's mocking me.  And it hates me.  It's like the Universe just wants to make sure that I know that the battle isn't over.  Normally I would say "bring it on, UNIVERSE!" but now I'm scared that a slush pile monster is going to devour me when I least expect it.

Awesome.


Truest comment: "I think anyone who says they like/love Winter, doesn't really know what they mean by that. Winter is cold, dark, wet, lifeless and cruel. What they like is hot chocolate, cuddling cause "It'll make us warmer" skiing, snowboarding, getting WARM by the fire and the fact that Christmas must be getting close. You only like the snow if you're wearing five hoodies and A coat that's so thick you can't bend your arms. Too often do we misinterpret what it is we actually want."-leaflock

13 comments:

  1. unicornsparklezLAWLZZZDecember 10, 2010 at 11:42 AM

    oh hai Megan.
    you should move to Florida. its only 53 FREAKIN DEGREES OUT.
    I HATE YOU UNIVERSE.
    so far, florida has been bipolar and has fluctuated between 50-60F weather and 80-90F weather.
    The weather was like a girl who was PMSing. and someone gave her chocolate. she was happy (happy=warmweather). then someone took it away (im looking at you, universe). now she's super sad(sad=coldweather).
    but now, someone took her chocolate and punched her in the face. so now shes MAD. (mad=superinsanlycoldfreezingOMGIMGOINGTODIEWAHHHHweather).
    so basically, you should move here so we can suffer together. misery loves company, yo.
    kfnksbai.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Psshhh. Florida weather is not bipolar. Maryland weather is bipolar.
    Like, canceling school for freezing rain one year (because it didn't snow and the principal wanted an excuse to cancel anyways... and then it didn't even rain). Next year, two 3-foot snows and lots of other little ones. EVERY SINGLE TIME on a Friday afternoon (read: all the pain and agony of not going anywhere, but you still have school Monday morning).
    And today we got snow again. yayyy.

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  3. Wait, ROFLMAO! I read your comment (Unicornbunchofcrapthrowuptogetherbutnooffenseatyourscreennamei'mjusttoolazytotypeitallandnowIendeduptypingsomethingmuchlongersoItotallyjustdefeatedthepoint) and thought you mean 53 degrees like a good thing! 53 degrees, that would be awesome (trust me, here 53 degrees and I wouldn't be surprised to see people in shorts and tanks) compared to 1 degree. Yeah. One.

    I understand your pain (well I mean I'm going through the same thing) we're supposed to get a foot all through out this weekend (and it's gonna be below zero). I LOVE SNOW.. Except for the fact that for some reason the blizzards always seem to land on Saturdays which pissed me off. A LOT. How are we supposed to get a snow day?!

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  4. It is currently snowing and lots of wind in Nevada. Besides that fact that the wind and snow/rain miraculously(sp?) stopped for the ENTIRE weekend, we've pretty much had non-stop crap-tacular weather!

    And also, why do the weather people screw up the forcast?! HOW DO YOU EVEN DO THAT!???
    All you have to do is look outside. I can garuntee that it will NOT be sunny today because there are clouds in the sky and it's currently SNOWING. geez. stoopid weather people.

    You should have seen our forcast a couple days ago. It was, all current temperature 6 degrees, feels like: 5 degrees. really...
    thats dumm. D. U. M. M. DUMM!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'd rather it be snowy and cold than just bitterly cold.

    And Megan, you CLEARLY haven't tried Maple and Brown Sugar oatmeal.

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  6. And thats why you should all move to Australia where its summer :D .... but no snow for unicorns to hide under *CRIES*

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  7. In Maryland, we're pretty "normal" I guess. It's freakin' COLD. But isn't snowing. I don't mind snow though. It's called no school and staying inside.

    It snowed on Friday and people were freaking out. My friend made me voluntarily go out in the cold just to see the snow. And in Orchestra Class, she start shouting at people for so significant reason.

    That's what snow here in Maryland do to kids.

    Too bad the snow stopped like 20 minutes later.

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  8. woah i live in Mississippi and i WISH it would snow. last week we had a couple of little flurries but it didn't even stick to the ground...:( it snowed big last year i think like six inches? maybe? but that was the only snow we had had in almost ten years. that was the first time i had seen snow since i was SIX. try going ten years without snow. its not fun. so anyways i'm saying all that to say count your blessings. there's plenty of us in Mississippi who would give anything for that big slush pile of yours whether it was murderous or not.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Move to Pennsylvania. We get all seasons equally, so you can use winter for the main reason it exists which is to sit inside with hot chocolate and homemade soup, but still get a balance of every condition of the Earth.
    Plus, I live here. So there's no good reason not to. Except that I might be a bad influence on your humility.

    Also, I was ambivalent towards oatmeal until I had some made with European oats. Now it's like the best thing ever. But only with European oats.

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  10. Well, I enjoy snow quite a lot, because I live in Portland and 80% of the time, it's raining. GRAH RAIN GO AWAY! There's this puddle by my school, nicknamed Lake of Death, and it swallows freshman.

    Well, and small upperclassmen, but that's not the point.

    With Portland, though, it'll be pouring and then suddenly stop and be 70 degrees out only to pour again 10 minutes later. We have bipolar weather. Not only that, but the average temperature is 54 degrees here.

    So, what I'm getting at is, at least you don't get drowned 10 months of the year.

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  11. Hahaha Megan you are hilarious! in TN our snow comes ,but not deep, and not all that often deeper south. Our super is from boston and feels we should go to school when it snows, but he's been nice the past few days. Now I don't know about you, but i think of super heros when i think of supers. I am so photoshoping a cape and a mask on his picture tonight :D

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  12. FOLLOW-UP: I had American oatmeal for the first time today after eating European stuff for like three months. You're right. It's grody.

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  13. I think anyone who says they like/love Winter, doesn't really know what they mean by that. Winter is cold, dark, wet, lifeless and cruel. What they like is hot chocolate, cuddling cause "It'll make us warmer" skiing, snowboarding, getting WARM by the fire and the fact that Christmas must be getting close. You only like the snow if you're wearing five hoodies and A coat that's so thick you can't bend your arms. Too often do we misinterpret what it is we actually want.

    ReplyDelete

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