Thursday, September 30, 2010

I apologize for this in advance

There is really no point to this post other than to tell you guys that I suck at posting.

Sometimes I get super jazzed and excited about my blog and I'm all "I'm gonna kick butt and post and stuff!" and inspiration hits me like a tidal wave of awesome and everything's great and my stats are wonderful and then...

I'm like...."never mind."  For no good reason.

Sometimes my brain says to me "Hey, you're never going to be successful if you don't actually post on your blog" and I say "Well, brain, if you weren't so easily distracted..." and my brain says "SILENCE! Let's think about space pirates" and I'm all "THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT."

Also, someone found my blog by searching for "DJ Tiesto" which is mildly flattering, but mostly I'm just pretty sure whoever that guy is was wildly disappointed.  He was looking for techno beats and he got bee phobias and unicorns.
Someone also found my blog by searching "stairs doug pants jeans awkward keys helpful" which I understand, except for the "helpful" part.  I'm probably the least helpful person I know.  99 percent of what I write is junk.  1 percent is actually probably useful.  Not that I've ever written about anything explicitly useful, per se, but I'm sure that something, somewhere in the archives could be misconstrued as helpful.  There are probably some kind of survival tactics or zombie-slaying methods around here somewhere.  Probably disguised as an awkward drawing or covered in glitter.

On a happy note, according to the poll, most of you either get super excited when you read my blog, or you are at least entertained.  Unfortunately, four of you have stabbed your eyes out.  I'm very sorry that I caused such premature vision damage.  (I'm assuming it's premature.  If you're blind, you probably didn't even know what you clicked, so it's kind of ironic that you said I make you want to stab your eye.  In fact, you can't read this.  I could totally make fun of you.  But I won't, because making fun of blind people isn't funny.  At all.  Except sometimes.) (Not gonna do it though.) (....Oh but I so could.) (Don't worry.  I didn't say what I was thinking.)  Anyway.  A couple of you apparently ended up here looking for Twilight.  If that's the case, you probably want my Twilight post for people who didn't like Twilight and just wanted an explosion or two. 

Or you might hate it.  Your call.


  1. Thank you for your freshest perspective on the world. The end.

  2. Making fun of blind people isn't funny? Hmmm, so I shouldn't have laughed at this earlier then? Well, that's a shame...

  3. Okay... I confess. I randomly stumbled onto your blog one day. I started reading about awkward things that hurt your soul. Then I stopped because I had stuff to do. By stuff I mean awful things like "finding the limit as x approaches pi". The next day I decided I'd finish reading what I started. I couldn't remember the name of your blog, so I googled every random word I could remember in your post. Hence, I am, "stairs doug pants jeans awkward keys helpful". Although I am sure you're very helpful, I was talking about the person who helps you when you lose your keys. I hope me telling you that in no way hurt your soul. :D


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