Greeting cards for people who don't really like greeting cards

I like to look at the greeting cards whenever I go to the store.  Sometimes the cards are funny.  Sometimes they're sweet.  But I often wonder why card makers aren't catering to the greater needs of the people.  The people being me.

Have you ever wanted to say something just right, but you couldn't find a card that could express your feelings accurately?  Well I'm about to solve your problem.

You're welcome.

Suck it, normal cards.