I don't have a title for this post unless you count "maybe I should call a priest" as a valid title, and most people don't. I think.

My dog Sam finally got shaved, which I think is pretty good because it was starting to look like I was walking the end of a mop. Just kidding, I never walk my dog. Is that bad? Should I walk my dog? Wouldn't he prefer to run free in the backyard? I don't like the whole dog walking concept because it inadvertently forces me to exercise and get fresh air and enjoy sunshine, which are the three things I shun. ...Not really. But seriously though. I don't want to walk him.

Anyways he looks like this now:

And also like this:



Except his eyes look like a devil/demon so I don't know maybe I should call a priest? Guys if there's a demon/devil thing living in my dog, I won't stand for that crap. Especially cause Sam is the good dog. And then there's the bad dog, whose name is Jacques. But honestly, if my name were Jacques, I'd misbehave too. And bite people and small children. And pee on couches.

I tried just now to take a picture of Jacques but it was really hard because he's the bad dog so he won't do anything I tell him to. Like "come here" or "sit still" or "go make me a sandwich".

So this is Jacques:




(Not my foot)

So that's the bad dog. I had to chase him and yell his name for like ten minutes to get that shot.

In the interest of being fair, here's one more of Sam, because I VALUE FAIRNESS.




Since I know the world is extremely interested in pictures of my dogs, I consider this a service to you. A service that demonstrates how pathetic I am. Except there are a lot more pathetic things I could be into, so technically this is a triumph over pathetic-ness, so I'm gonna go ahead and pat myself of the back, because this falls into the category of awesome pathetic-ness.

On an unrelated note, I got a sweet Rugrats T-shirt. My favorite episode was when they went to a medieval fair and fought the dragon. After that I was all what the heck mom, why don't we go to medieval fairs? And she still hasn't answered me. I totally would still go.

My eyes kind of look scary too.......priest?

Call me Albert, cause I'm about to discover the law of photoelectric effect

Matt: You cannot have a blog and not update it. Why am I following you if you don't post?

Me: Because I would blog about people and HOW CAN I BLOG ABOUT PEOPLE WHEN THEY DO NOT WANT TO BE BLOGGED ABOUT? That, and I'm lazy. And...it appears that I have a fondness for caps today...CAPS.

Matt: Well then, blog about something else. Persevere. In the name of science!

Me: Shall I blog about science?

Matt: Certainly, the science of properly applying eye makeup, as was so thoroughly explained to me on Saturday.

Me: There's science, then there's stuff people actually care about. Eye makeup falls under the latter.

Then I told him he was giving me license to blog about him, because he was talking about my blog. He told me that there's nothing to say about him and more to say about the rivalry between my dogs. How am I supposed to blog about science and canine diplomacy? I guess I could try to do something scientific-like with my dogs. Like make them sit in a tub of water and measure the meniscus or whatever.

What's a meniscus? Is meniscus a word, or did I make that up? Pretty sure that word appeared in my education somewhere. Whatever. I'm going to measure my dogs' meniscuses...

Meniscusi?
Meniscusises?
Menisci?
Apparently the plural for meniscus is menisci, cause there's no squiggly red line under it.

...

MENISCI. I just taught you a science word and made you seriously consider dog relations for the first time. You're welcome.

My feud with The Universe Pt. 1

The Universe: Good morning, Megan. There's snow outside, your dog is dead, and you just lost three million on the stock market.

Well. The first one is true.