Girls, please live by these words

Lemme tell you a 'lil somthin' somthin'...pretty lasts.  Hot is an expendable commodity.

GIRLS.  BE PRETTY.

I just had to share this because it's currently the best video on youtube.

This is your own fault. YOU ASKED FOR IT.

I've been getting emails and comments and messages from people asking me if I have any other talents.  Other than drawing velociraptors.  Yeah.  Because that's a talent.  Anyway, usually I say, "NOPE.  NOT A ONE." Except a few of you have been very specific.  "Do you sing?" they ask.  Well...the answer is sort of.

I sort of sing.  I have taken a couple classes.  I've been in a few musicals.  I'm just not pursuing singing, so it's kind of something I don't do much, unless I'm alone, in my room with a hairbrush and underpants.  Because that's what pop stars do.

I thought I ought to share this with you since A. you seem interested, B. I really enjoy looking at/listening to/generally talking about myself, and C. it's been asked a surprising number of times.

So!  This is me singing "Just You and Me" by Zee Avi.  It's one of my favorites and I don't do it justice, but that's okay because SO WHAT, that's why.  My webcam sucks so you'll need to PUMP UP THA VOLUME!  It gets easier to hear after a couple lines, I think.  Also, I mess up a lot.  SO SUE ME.  Or sew me.  Whatever you want to do is fine with me.

Also, I have to just link you to YouTube where I have it because Blogger hates me more than anything and is trying to save you from watching this, I guess.  You have been warned.  By me and by blogger.

HERE IS THE LINK TO THE MELODIOUS SOUNDS OF MY VOICE THING.


P to the S: disneyaddict326 is the youtuber who uploaded the instrumental that I sang to because I have no instrument-type skills.  GO HER!

Top ten fictional characters that I'd like to get my yum on with. Awwww yeah.

(I have no idea what that title even means.  Can you get your yum on with someone?  I don't know, but if you can, I'm going to do it every single day for the rest of forever.)

Today is Valentine's Day, did you know?  Some of us are rather Valentine-less and have to rely on vivid imaginations and heart-shaped cookies to carry us through the day.  Others get to face kiss for hours.  WHATEVER.  The rest of us don't even care.  Enjoy your face kissing.  Jerks.

Anyway, in order to stop the pain just for fun, I've compiled a list of my favorite fictional mega hotties.  Enjoy.  Please keep your drool off the post.  Kthx.

Number 10: Link from The Legend of Zelda

Mmmmm.  Link.  The hair, the pointy ears, THE HAT.  I mean look at him.  He's like sexy wrapped in hot dusted with fiiiiiine.

Pros: If I were ever in danger from the evil Ganondorf, Link would totally have my back.  Also, he's probably really really good at braiding hair.  And I bet he's sensitive.

Cons: I've never actually heard him talk, although he does grunt occasionally.  That would kind of be a conversation killer.  Also, Navi is always following him around and every ten seconds she'd be all, "HEY!  LISTEN!" and then proceed to give Link really obvious dating tips like, "Kissing is when you put your mouth on another mouth" and then it would kind of get awkward.


Number 9: Ash Ketchum from Pokemon

Oh Ash...the enthusiasm.  The naivete.  THE HAT!  Is it totally weird that I have a crush on him?  True, he was ten when he began his epic journey of awesome, but then again, I was a kid when I started loving him.  So logically he's probably old enough for me to love now.  Right?  Right guys?

Pros: Ash probably would be the most enthusiastic date ever.  Also, he would be impressed by my extensive Pokemon card collection.  And have you heard him laugh?  It's super cute!!!11`2!11`

Cons: Ash probably would be the most enthusiastic date ever.  I'd be all, "I'm hungry" and he'd be like, "BUT WE HAVE TO GO CATCH THEM ALL!!!" and I'd be like, "Stop throwing pokeballs at me" and he'd be all, "LOOK, A WILD MEGAN!" and I'd be all, "THAT'S IT ASH, WE'RE OVER" and he'd be all, "Dang.  It got away."

Number 8: Jacob Black from New Moon

Oh come on.  Don't pretend like you don't love him.  I firmly believe that Stephenie Meyer trapped him in her world of insanity and that he's been battling his way out ever since.  JACOB IS HOT, I TELL YOU.  Just...skip Breaking Dawn.  Please

Pros: He's warm and muscular and so hot that it makes my teeth sweat.  Also, he's funny and friendly and I bet he would be really good at kissing.  Like...really good.  Plus, he could be my boyfriend AND my pet, thus eliminating my need for twelve puppies.  Instead I could have Jacob and three puppies.

Cons: He's always busy trying to get stupid, boring, whiny Bella to love him.  I don't know why.  She's the worst character in history.  Also, Breaking Dawn.  Just...Breaking Dawn.


Number 7: Cormac McLaggen from Harry Potter

I know that Cormac is a grade A idiot-face, but I mean...look at him.  He's just so beautiful.  Also, he plays quidditch and that's just sexy.  Quidditch players are the hottest athletes of all.

Pros: When he plays quidditch I could totally brag and be all, "Look at my super hot boyfriend being all awesome and magical and stuff" and then he could also teach me how to fly on a broomstick and it would be just like the time that I dreamed I was accepted into Hogwarts.  That would totally make up for my uncontrollable weeping on the night of my 11th birthday.  What are the chances that my acceptance letter is just 7 years late?  Probably pretty good, right?  ...Right?

Cons: He's a jerk.  A sexy, sexy jerk.


Number 6: Anakin Skywalker from Star Wars

Wanna Force kiss?  I love Anakin, not for his whiny, crappy character, but for his luscious hair.

Pros: Anakin is basically incredibly skilled at everything, so much so that he can even defy physics, Coruscant assassin chase style.  Um, also I would be dating a Jedi.  And if I were dating him, I would be such a good influence that he never would have betrayed the Jedi order.  But then the original Star Wars movies would be ruined.  Hmmm.  Maybe this is a con.

Cons: He's a whiny baby who talks smack on his master.  Not cool, Ani.  Also, his nickname is "Ani."  Oh and plus, there's a very limited time frame to love his face off, cause first he's a stupid kid and then he becomes horribly disfigured.  Although I probably would still hold hands with Darth Vader.


Number 5: Westley from The Princess Bride

Westley gets two pictures because I want double the Westley.  He's a pirate, guys.  HE'S A SEXY PIRATE.

Pros: HE'S A SEXY PIRATE.  He'll do anything for true love.  He's clever and witty.  He's a clever, romantic, sexy pirate.  And his teeth are phenomenal.

Cons: Westley is dating Buttercup, who is a brat.  A lovely, lovely brat.  Also, Cary Elwes had to go get old and ruin my perception of Westley by taking a role in the Ella Enchanted movie.  For shame, Cary.  For shame.


Number 4: Howl from Howl's Moving Castle

I don't know why I love Howl so effing much, but just googling pictures of him made my insides feel all squishy and mushy and I was all, "LOVE ME."  My mad hot adoration for Howl started when I saw this movie, and man, was I hit hard with true, true love.  If you haven't seen this movie, you absolutely have to.  Then you will know exactly what I mean.

Pros: Howl is voiced by Christian Bale, another super fine specimen of the male species.  Also, Howl is just as hot in the book as in the movie.  Now that's a rare find, ladies.

Cons: He's a super player.  He likes to love 'em and leave 'em.  Also, he turns into a giant bird monster, which is actually kind of cool but also would make cuddling a little hard.



 Number 3: Han Solo from Star Wars

 My favorite scoundrel of all time.  He's a wise-crackin' smuggler whose best friend is a walking carpet.  WHAT MORE COULD YOU ASK FOR??

Pros: He's Han freaking Solo.  Han, you can smuggle me any day.  Does that sound dirty to you?  I didn't mean for it to sound dirty.  I actually don't know what I was trying to say.  Look, Han, can I kiss you on the mouth?

Cons: He isn't real.  I lament this fact every day.


Number 2: Aragorn from The Lord of the Rings

 Aragorn.  Oh, Aragorn.  Here comes the point in this list where my sentences become significantly less coherent because I'm busy staring at pictures of Aragorn.  He doesn't shower, he's constantly rolling around in dirt, he's generally covered in grime, blood, and sweat, and yet he still manages to be so sexy it's almost painful.  HOT HOT LOVE.

Pros: Basically everything.  He's courageous, hot, valiant, strong, hot, a warrior, romantic, clever, hot, noble.....

Cons: The likelihood of him dying in some bad-a battle is very high.  And yet, he doesn't die in any of them.  So I guess what I'm saying is that he has no cons.  Maybe his lack of hygiene...?  No.  No, not even that.


Number 1:  Edward Cullen!

....Hahahahaha gross, just kidding.

Number 1: Legolas from The Lord of the Rings

 Choosing just one picture of Legolas was absolutely heartbreaking.  However, seeing my computer screen filled with photos of his elfin glory made my day about 78 times better.  I used to think that I was in love with Orlando Bloom, but as it turns out I just love Legolas.  So much.  OHMYGOODNESSSOMUCH.  He's perfect and wonderful and I don't even care that he moves like a female because he's an elf, what do you want?!?!  Also, he's bad-a with that bow.

Pros: Everything.

Cons: Absolutely nothing.



Now please excuse me while I go watch all the LOTR movies and hyperventilate at the sexy dream team.

UPDATE: I've probably forgotten about a bajillion sexy men on this list.  As I think of them or people remind me of them, I'll post them right here on my "I STILL LOVE YOU" list, because the world always needs more lists involving smexy men.

I STILL LOVE YOU...
1. Logan/Wolverine: The steel running through your anatomy might be cold, but you are smoking hot.
2. Ronald Weasley: I find myself less attracted to you this year, but your general adorable-ness cannot go unnamed.
3. Batman: Oh Christian Bale.  OH CHRISTIAN BALE.
4. Jim Halpert: Cute, quirky, all around adorable.
5. Prince Zuko: In the infamous words of Carmen Rae Thorley, "I don't know.  The whole scar-faced, dark past thing is hot."

Hey, I'm not dead! Hooray! (Updated)

Hello.  I've been taking a hiatus called "lazy" but now I'm back.  Also, I have homework and college crap to do, which means that I will procrastinate more and more by drawing pictures of bears and talking about glitter in depth.  YAY!!!!

I'm thinking about blogging a book for SparkLife.  If you think that this is a terrible idea, please feel free to inform me with vitriol, but take note that I will only accept criticism if it comes in the form of a gift basket full of delicious treats and puppies.  I will not eat the puppies.  You may have the puppies back after I'm done playing with them. At least one puppy must be named Toad-Dog.

I've opened up a new poll asking you guys which book you think I should blog.  In light of Blogging Twilight's sad, sad end, I originally thought of blogging The Host.  Don't take Dan Bergstein into account when voting, cause he is going to do something very spectacular, but it won't be The Host.  It's going to be even better.  And that's all I'll say about that.  I will probably get fired in approximately twenty minutes.  Today is a day of magic!

Anyway, vote on the poll and if you choose the last option, be sure to leave me a comment or shoot me an email telling me that I'm an idiot and really should have thought of [insert incredible/horrible/whatever book here] and then I will add that into the running.

Tomorrow, hopefully, I will return to regular posting.  Keep on keepin' on, Sparkleheads.  And other people who read my blog.  (Hi, mom.)

Update: There are a few things that I need to clarify.  First, I KNOW that The Host is by Stephenie Meyer and that every one of you loathes her with a fiery passion.  That is the point.  See I can't blog something too freaking awesome because this is how it would go:

So I read this book and it was incredible.  In this chapter, awesomeness happens.  The characters are wonderful and make super decisions.  Everything makes perfect and complete sense.  I do not see anything wrong with this book.  Remember that one really suspenseful part of this chapter?  Me too.  It was great, as I'm sure we can all agree.  I love this book.

That was probably not very interesting.  I've read The Hunger Games series and loved it, but I probably wouldn't blog it just because I don't really have anything to say about it.  It was great.  Sure, I have some minor issues with it, but not enough to write something interesting.  That's not to say that a book has to suck to be an interesting blog, but when something is nit-picked, it's funnier.  JUST SAYIN'.

(Cue the "MEGAN YOU ARE A MO-RON" comments.)

Feel accomplished the easy way!

Some people are just really good at stuff, you know?  They walk into a room and they're all, "Oh hey.  I won an award for having the sexiest hair in the Western hemisphere.  Also, I got an A in every class ever and am excused from all schooling for forever.  And this morning I burped and twelve people were cured of infectious diseases.  What's up with you?"  It's at this point that I need something better to say than, "Um.  I drew bears for seven hours last night."

Not everyone can be Superman/Dan Bergstein/Harry Potter, right?  Some of us just don't win things (I may or may not be talking specifically about myself).  That is why I have decided to do us all a favor.  Below you will find some very stylish awards that you are free to stick anywhere.  Print 'em out, add 'em to your blog/facebook, run around with them taped all over your body screaming, "I IS WINNER FOR REALLLLZ!!!"  Your call.

 

 

 

 Way to go, champ.   You deserve this.  

Also, I deserve this.  Wanna know how often I win?  Never.  Except that one time when I was a kid and I entered my name into a Radio Disney drawing at the grocery store and I won tickets to see a Jesse McCartney concert because the Radio Disney guys had to give them away before five and only two other kids entered the drawing.  Yeah.  That was awesome.

Updated: Many of you know that I heart The Bloggess more than I heart...a lot of things.  I don't know I can't come up with a comparison.  SUE ME....Please don't though.

Anyway, I was browsing through her blog archives today and stumbled upon this.  Which probably means we have some sort of psychic connection or that I stalk her in my sleep without knowing about it and it kind of freaks me out that we both made awards about bears and unicorns and they both were in the same line of thought which makes me think that maybe I am more like Jenny than I thought and that makes me get excited-faced.  Except her awards are INFINITELY better because she does this crap for a living.  That's excellence.  Anyway, I feel the need to award myself this: