Just a quick update to let you know that I have not died a horrible death.

It seems like I'm always assuring people who don't care that I haven't experienced an untimely demise.  I need to come up with a new reassurance.  Like, "HEY I HAVEN'T CONTRACTED MALARIA LATELY, HAVE YOU?" and people would be like, "Dude, just shut up already, we KNOW that you're fine" and I'd laugh nervously and start talking about not being dead again. I don't know.  It's really late.  I shouldn't be blogging.

Since you're all so FREAKING INTERESTED in my schedule and life, I have officially finished my last day of classes (YAY) and will now enter finals week, which means this week will be a ton of studying and then there will come test taking and then moving back to my mom's house because I am so lame it's painful.  OH DID YOU KNOW MY MOM MAKES PRETTY HAIR STUFF NOW?!  She made me a headband that looks like that one Kate girl's headband.  Like, the chick who's marrying that prince guy.  William Shatner?  Yeah, that Kate who's marrying Prince William Shatner.  Anyway, I'll post a picture of that because my mom makes cool stuff and you all need to see it so that you can tell me my head is prettier than Princess Kate Shatner's head.

...I totally had a point with this.

OH YEAH.  So I'm going to be really busy for two-ish weeks, but then I'll be BACK and I'll do PRODUCTIVE THINGS like maybe change my blog layout to reflect the actual month that it is.  Because it is not February.  This is just embarrassing.

Anyway, point is I'm alive, just busy.  And I'll start being not busy so that you can all go back to telling me that you love me and/or telling me that I need to go die a thousand times and stop writing because my writing makes the world explode regularly or some such crap like that.  Yeah, that's what's up, HATERS.

...That was oddly hostile.  I'm sorry.  I need to go to bed now.  Been working on one too many final projects, if ya know what I mean.  And you probably do because that wasn't a euphemism at all.

Oh my goodness.  This is getting out of hand.  Goodnight.

Talking to me is dangerous because there's a good chance I'll blog about it.

My friend Carmen and I like to talk about anything other than the homework we are supposed to be completing.  One night, however, I texted her, asking about an essay for American Heritage in which we are supposed to discuss the Electoral College system.  This conversation (predictably) devolved into rabies and sandwiches.  It's like she doesn't even want to write an essay.

Carmen: Huzzah. It’s easier to write good about popular vote. And the more I learned about it, the more it makes sense. What’s wrong with our country?

Megan: Communism and rapists. And overpriced chip bags that are half chip-flavored oxygen. That’s what’s wrong with this country.

Carmen: Yeah YEAH! And-and… and possums! I mean, WHAT?! Are they, like, actually a contributing factor to the betterment of our country?! Psh! … ahem.

Megan: No! They don’t do anything! Just like… children under seven! Children under seven are totally communists. All they do is nothing plus drool.

Carmen: Also, the huge waste of money on the production of wrist-stressing tambourines is like… a huge waste of money. Add a hand grip for crying out loud!

Megan: Yeah! And plus, house plants! Do you know how much good, all American tap water we waste on dumb house plants every day?? Probably at least ten gallons.

Carmen: And why in heavens name are there suddenly BIRDS everywhere? Everywhere! On trees, and cars, and telephone wires.. Isn’t there some sort of cautionary discipline they can implement? I’ve got calls to make and I don’t want a sparrow cutting them short.

Megan: The bird epidemic is almost as bad as all these stupid schools. Like ‘ooooh the kids are the future’ and ‘education is important’ and crap. Well whatever because they’re just all over the place and they don’t ever do anything. I’ve never had a school make me a sandwich. I fail to see the usefulness.

Carmen: I wish bakeries would have some sort of law that forces THEM to eat the stale pastries they fail to sell and try to shove down our throats anyways. 1. They didn’t sell so they must not be good. 2. They are stale so they must be worse than before.

Megan: 3. They must be full of rabies, or else the cashiers would have eaten them by now. I would have.

I think we've just identified every problem in this once-great nation.

Happy Birthday because birthdays are important

I would just like to take a moment to wish my dear, sweet, slightly scary friend Tav a happy birthday.  She is lovely and tall and if you are a tall, attractive male, please send me a fb message because this is completely unrelated to Tav and has no bearing whatsoever on my birthday plans for her.

Happy Birthday, Tavski.

UPDATED: Tavia is totally not a giant monster beast.  She is actually very pretty and is not THAT tall, but I'm 5'1" so everyone seems tall to me, including Frodo.  Yeah.  Just thought I'd clear that one up because I AM NOT LIVING WITH A TROLL.  Unless she's actually a very pretty disguised troll.  Which really wouldn't be that bad and then it could be argued that trolls might be attractive.  Anyway. 

I have no words for this.

I wasn't planning on posting today, but...well, you'll see.

Blogger lets me see what people search for in Google when they stumble across my blog.  I was idly checking those stats today.

Really?  Right in between the sexy dream team??

...You guys I have no words.  I can't decide whether this is hilarious or slightly disturbing.  I'm going to go with both.

You guys are just too much.

Top ten fictional characters that I'd like to get my yum on with. Awwww yeah.

(I have no idea what that title even means.  Can you get your yum on with someone?  I don't know, but if you can, I'm going to do it every single day for the rest of forever.)

Today is Valentine's Day, did you know?  Some of us are rather Valentine-less and have to rely on vivid imaginations and heart-shaped cookies to carry us through the day.  Others get to face kiss for hours.  WHATEVER.  The rest of us don't even care.  Enjoy your face kissing.  Jerks.

Anyway, in order to stop the pain just for fun, I've compiled a list of my favorite fictional mega hotties.  Enjoy.  Please keep your drool off the post.  Kthx.

Number 10: Link from The Legend of Zelda

Mmmmm.  Link.  The hair, the pointy ears, THE HAT.  I mean look at him.  He's like sexy wrapped in hot dusted with fiiiiiine.

Pros: If I were ever in danger from the evil Ganondorf, Link would totally have my back.  Also, he's probably really really good at braiding hair.  And I bet he's sensitive.

Cons: I've never actually heard him talk, although he does grunt occasionally.  That would kind of be a conversation killer.  Also, Navi is always following him around and every ten seconds she'd be all, "HEY!  LISTEN!" and then proceed to give Link really obvious dating tips like, "Kissing is when you put your mouth on another mouth" and then it would kind of get awkward.


Number 9: Ash Ketchum from Pokemon

Oh Ash...the enthusiasm.  The naivete.  THE HAT!  Is it totally weird that I have a crush on him?  True, he was ten when he began his epic journey of awesome, but then again, I was a kid when I started loving him.  So logically he's probably old enough for me to love now.  Right?  Right guys?

Pros: Ash probably would be the most enthusiastic date ever.  Also, he would be impressed by my extensive Pokemon card collection.  And have you heard him laugh?  It's super cute!!!11`2!11`

Cons: Ash probably would be the most enthusiastic date ever.  I'd be all, "I'm hungry" and he'd be like, "BUT WE HAVE TO GO CATCH THEM ALL!!!" and I'd be like, "Stop throwing pokeballs at me" and he'd be all, "LOOK, A WILD MEGAN!" and I'd be all, "THAT'S IT ASH, WE'RE OVER" and he'd be all, "Dang.  It got away."

Number 8: Jacob Black from New Moon

Oh come on.  Don't pretend like you don't love him.  I firmly believe that Stephenie Meyer trapped him in her world of insanity and that he's been battling his way out ever since.  JACOB IS HOT, I TELL YOU.  Just...skip Breaking Dawn.  Please

Pros: He's warm and muscular and so hot that it makes my teeth sweat.  Also, he's funny and friendly and I bet he would be really good at kissing.  Like...really good.  Plus, he could be my boyfriend AND my pet, thus eliminating my need for twelve puppies.  Instead I could have Jacob and three puppies.

Cons: He's always busy trying to get stupid, boring, whiny Bella to love him.  I don't know why.  She's the worst character in history.  Also, Breaking Dawn.  Just...Breaking Dawn.


Number 7: Cormac McLaggen from Harry Potter

I know that Cormac is a grade A idiot-face, but I mean...look at him.  He's just so beautiful.  Also, he plays quidditch and that's just sexy.  Quidditch players are the hottest athletes of all.

Pros: When he plays quidditch I could totally brag and be all, "Look at my super hot boyfriend being all awesome and magical and stuff" and then he could also teach me how to fly on a broomstick and it would be just like the time that I dreamed I was accepted into Hogwarts.  That would totally make up for my uncontrollable weeping on the night of my 11th birthday.  What are the chances that my acceptance letter is just 7 years late?  Probably pretty good, right?  ...Right?

Cons: He's a jerk.  A sexy, sexy jerk.


Number 6: Anakin Skywalker from Star Wars

Wanna Force kiss?  I love Anakin, not for his whiny, crappy character, but for his luscious hair.

Pros: Anakin is basically incredibly skilled at everything, so much so that he can even defy physics, Coruscant assassin chase style.  Um, also I would be dating a Jedi.  And if I were dating him, I would be such a good influence that he never would have betrayed the Jedi order.  But then the original Star Wars movies would be ruined.  Hmmm.  Maybe this is a con.

Cons: He's a whiny baby who talks smack on his master.  Not cool, Ani.  Also, his nickname is "Ani."  Oh and plus, there's a very limited time frame to love his face off, cause first he's a stupid kid and then he becomes horribly disfigured.  Although I probably would still hold hands with Darth Vader.


Number 5: Westley from The Princess Bride

Westley gets two pictures because I want double the Westley.  He's a pirate, guys.  HE'S A SEXY PIRATE.

Pros: HE'S A SEXY PIRATE.  He'll do anything for true love.  He's clever and witty.  He's a clever, romantic, sexy pirate.  And his teeth are phenomenal.

Cons: Westley is dating Buttercup, who is a brat.  A lovely, lovely brat.  Also, Cary Elwes had to go get old and ruin my perception of Westley by taking a role in the Ella Enchanted movie.  For shame, Cary.  For shame.


Number 4: Howl from Howl's Moving Castle

I don't know why I love Howl so effing much, but just googling pictures of him made my insides feel all squishy and mushy and I was all, "LOVE ME."  My mad hot adoration for Howl started when I saw this movie, and man, was I hit hard with true, true love.  If you haven't seen this movie, you absolutely have to.  Then you will know exactly what I mean.

Pros: Howl is voiced by Christian Bale, another super fine specimen of the male species.  Also, Howl is just as hot in the book as in the movie.  Now that's a rare find, ladies.

Cons: He's a super player.  He likes to love 'em and leave 'em.  Also, he turns into a giant bird monster, which is actually kind of cool but also would make cuddling a little hard.



 Number 3: Han Solo from Star Wars

 My favorite scoundrel of all time.  He's a wise-crackin' smuggler whose best friend is a walking carpet.  WHAT MORE COULD YOU ASK FOR??

Pros: He's Han freaking Solo.  Han, you can smuggle me any day.  Does that sound dirty to you?  I didn't mean for it to sound dirty.  I actually don't know what I was trying to say.  Look, Han, can I kiss you on the mouth?

Cons: He isn't real.  I lament this fact every day.


Number 2: Aragorn from The Lord of the Rings

 Aragorn.  Oh, Aragorn.  Here comes the point in this list where my sentences become significantly less coherent because I'm busy staring at pictures of Aragorn.  He doesn't shower, he's constantly rolling around in dirt, he's generally covered in grime, blood, and sweat, and yet he still manages to be so sexy it's almost painful.  HOT HOT LOVE.

Pros: Basically everything.  He's courageous, hot, valiant, strong, hot, a warrior, romantic, clever, hot, noble.....

Cons: The likelihood of him dying in some bad-a battle is very high.  And yet, he doesn't die in any of them.  So I guess what I'm saying is that he has no cons.  Maybe his lack of hygiene...?  No.  No, not even that.


Number 1:  Edward Cullen!

....Hahahahaha gross, just kidding.

Number 1: Legolas from The Lord of the Rings

 Choosing just one picture of Legolas was absolutely heartbreaking.  However, seeing my computer screen filled with photos of his elfin glory made my day about 78 times better.  I used to think that I was in love with Orlando Bloom, but as it turns out I just love Legolas.  So much.  OHMYGOODNESSSOMUCH.  He's perfect and wonderful and I don't even care that he moves like a female because he's an elf, what do you want?!?!  Also, he's bad-a with that bow.

Pros: Everything.

Cons: Absolutely nothing.



Now please excuse me while I go watch all the LOTR movies and hyperventilate at the sexy dream team.

UPDATE: I've probably forgotten about a bajillion sexy men on this list.  As I think of them or people remind me of them, I'll post them right here on my "I STILL LOVE YOU" list, because the world always needs more lists involving smexy men.

I STILL LOVE YOU...
1. Logan/Wolverine: The steel running through your anatomy might be cold, but you are smoking hot.
2. Ronald Weasley: I find myself less attracted to you this year, but your general adorable-ness cannot go unnamed.
3. Batman: Oh Christian Bale.  OH CHRISTIAN BALE.
4. Jim Halpert: Cute, quirky, all around adorable.
5. Prince Zuko: In the infamous words of Carmen Rae Thorley, "I don't know.  The whole scar-faced, dark past thing is hot."

Still not dead. Surprisingly.

Hey just wanted to let you guys know that I WILL be posting this week.  I'm not dead.  Or seriously injured, as the rumors suggest.  (I made up the rumors.  I just want to be important.)

Please bear with my for a while because not too long ago no one read my blog except for my mom and, like, two random internet people who happened upon it accidentally.  So up until now, no one cared if I took a month to post.  I'M FIXIN' MY WAYS.  I even have a post in the works.  Love me still, please.


Sorry that this is not a real post.  Please accept my sincerest apologies, and also this picture:

Look!  It's me!  It's me putting food in my mouth!  HOW EMBARRASSING!  ...Okay this is full of fail.  More to come this week, and it might even be good.

I WON SOMETHING. WHAT IS GOING ON.

This is not a real blog post.  THIS IS JUST ME SAYING THAT I WON SOMETHING.  Which is weird because I never win so now I have to go change my about page but it also makes me very happy because I'm now a winner!  For real!  I may now join the pantheon of all star winners, like Kobe Bryant and Celine Dion, who has won my heart.  In a totally not weird way.  Actually it's kind of weird.  BUT MOVING ON.

I WON SOMETHING.  Look here to go to Lara's blog, where I won a thing that means I will be receiving more things!  I get THINGS, you guys!  YAY FOR THINGS!!!!!!!  I had a little seizure of joy when I realized that I GET THINGS!!!!! AND I WON SOMETHING!!! SOMETHING AND THINGS ALL IN ONE DAY IT'S TOO MUCH!!!

This totally beats Jesse McCartney tickets.  Which is weird because I never thought I would mention Jesse McCartney twice on this blog, but then again I also never thought I would be getting things.  THINGS, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT??