Anonymous is back!

I received this LOVELY comment on this post (which I find strangely ironic.  It's like anonymous is going for the gold!)

"dude, f*** this blog. I Mean Everything about This blog sucks Hardcore And Nobody, no One, Likes you."

First of all, why is grammar such a big problem for this person?  It's getting predictable.  I don't know who Nobody is, or who One is, but I'm assuming they are people because I don't know why else they would be capitalized.  Unless this comment is a cleverly worded code.  It's like a game!  An insert-your-own-punctuation-marks-game!

"...dude, f*** this blog.  I.  Mean.  Everything about.  This blog sucks.  Hardcore.  And.  Nobody, no.  One,.  Likes you."

When you read it that way, it's much nicer.

Secondly, people like me.  My mom likes me.  My mom loves me.  So take that, anonymous.  I think we can both agree that you stand CORRECTED, my friend.

I'm assuming this is your response to my offer to hug you.  I'm sorry.  Maybe you don't like close personal contact. I can see that we're going to continue to have problems, you and I.  In the future, please send all complaints to my house handwritten on 4x6 colored cards.  Fuchsia is preferable, but not required.  If you can name all the countries in Africa, you get bonus points.  Can I borrow your pen?  I left mine in the car.

I love you, anonymous.  I love you so much.

...Should I be upset?

I received this comment from "anonymous" today (I edited the bad word.  WHOOO for pretension!):

"F*** you and everyone who comments on this. Your blogs are pretentious and, although it is clear you are joking, it is not funny in the least. You have a very immature sense of humor and I despise you more than anybody could despise anything. Ever."


My initial response was disbelief, as I wondered why, in the same sentence, anonymous insults both me and him/herself...cause...you know...he/she commented on "this."

Then I laughed.

Anonymous, do you really despise me more than anything ever?  Wanna know things that I despise?
1. Genocide
2. Domestic abuse
3. Being chased by geese
4. Murder
5. Road maps
6. Any maps
7. Murder again

This clearly calls for another award.

 Anonymous, don't feel bad.  I made one for you too:

I will literally give you that hug.  No, really.  I'm being serious.  Why don't you email me and we'll talk it out, huh?  Then there can be rainbows and butterflies and we can all learn to respect each other and enjoy each other and have enough decency not to despise/insult total strangers just because some people don't like unicorns jokes and others do. 

Differences, kids.  They make us special.


P.S. Just so we're all clear, insulting me is just fine.  But your comments will be marked as spam and I might write an immature and pretentious post about it.  "But Megan, FREE SPEECH!  You just don't want to deal with anyone who disagrees!"

Um, duh.  This is MY blog.  Free speech doesn't apply so much.  Why would I let anyone say icky things about me and my readers?  It's insulting to the very concepts of acceptance and free speech.  If you want to disagree with me respectfully, knock yourself out.  Otherwise, let me reiterate a point: IT'S MY BLOG, I DO WHAT I WANT!  HAHAHA!