This is too long to tweet so I'm posting it here.

Pretend that you have a dog.  Let's say your sweet, kind grandma gave it to you because she is the most wonderful grandma ever.  Your dog is the best dog in the world: it loves you, comforts you when you're sad, entertains you, and is your best friend.  Luckily for you, this dog will also live forever and will never abandon you and will only get better with age as you create fond memories together.

Now pretend that one day you come home from work to find that your grandma has taken your dog away. Also, it turns out the dog was a robot that never loved you and spent its entire time with you collecting data about you so that your grandma could market stupid toys that you and your friends would buy and its made her incredibly rich and not only is your dog gone, but grandma also left a really loud, really smelly, really stupid flock of squawking parrots in your living room along with a note informing you that she is, in fact, the best grandma ever, a genius among matriarchs, THE UNDISPUTED GRANDMOTHER OF THE CENTURY.  And you try so desperately to ignore the dumb birds while you look at pictures of adventures with your old dog but you can't and what does it matter anyway because all your memories are ruined and your family and friends try to tell you that it's okay but it isn't because ALL THIS TIME THE FORCE WAS MADE OF STUPID, TINY, IDIOTIC LIVING ORGANISMS THAT INHABITED YOUR BODY LIKE A BUNCH OF PSYCHIC, PARASITIC TAPEWORMS OR SOMETHING.

And that's why I hate Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace so much.